My current employment situation is pretty good; I have a good-paying job that I like pretty well, my daily commute is like 20 feet, and being located remotely means that I can still do most of my job responsibilities but that I don't get sucked into urgent issues that would have me working late. But, it is only a temporary arrangement, as my company will be finding someone to replace me who can be located on-site. So, that means that I need to be looking for a job here. I'd probably be content to drag things out and take advantage of the position I'm in, but I don't want to be replaced at work and have no new job to go to, and Lesley has made it her highest priority for me to get a job.

The problem is that while I can be a very self-motivated person, I've been very unmotivated to look for a job. I'm quite satisfied with my current situation, and I'm sure I could find another job that I like, but I know that I don't want to work in this field long-term; I just don't know what I want to be doing instead. I just don't want to go through a bunch of trouble to find another job which isn't what I want to be doing either; it's a lot of effort without much immediate benefit.

I've been struggling to figure out what I want to be doing for several years, but, like many people do, I've been able to ignore that deeper desire to figure out my purpose. Still, I can't help but feel that I'm getting close to realizing what I want to do with my life and that I just haven't realized it or found it quite yet. This leaves me wanting to delay looking for a job with the naive hope that within the next couple months I'll suddenly know what I want to do and will be able to start doing it. I just need to realize that I'm living in the real world and set my frame of mind to start really focusing on job searching and hope that someday things will be a little clearer.